CAUTION: This post contains some material that would make a sailor blush. Read at the peril of your innocence.
I've been wondering whether or not to write a blog on vice. On one hand, it seems so
unnecessarily lurid to show my readers the seedier side of life here. After all, you are probably perfectly happy with cute pictures of Sophie and my tales of appalling quantities of meat, yes?
But vice is alive and well here in the Czech lands...maybe even startlingly so. Beginning with our first glimpses of the ubiquitous casinos and brothels, our first whiffs of the pervasive tobacco smoke, and, our first quaffs of the ever-available beer, it's clear that this place ain't no Kansas taffy pull!
Yet despite the striking differences from the American approach to vice, it's also clear that taking a "holier-than-thou" position has gotten me no closer to understanding; this is a different culture and a different country--a country enjoying its recently found freedom from years of political, economic, and thought control. And yet, the Czechs are just SO much more permissive about vice that it's hard not to judge. Well, I don't know exactly what to think but I perhaps it will make for interesting reading. So here it is:
VICE in Meat Land!
Gambling:The most
visually obvious vice here is gambling. Like other parts of Europe, they have sports betting booths and, like the US, they also have state-sponsored
lotteries. But unlike the US, we see little casinos EVERYWHERE. They are just part of the normal cityscape. With their gaudy neon storefronts and digital money tickers, they project a sort of sleaziness that most Americans are used to seeing ghettoized in dedicated neighborhood or cities like Vegas...i.e., not mixed in next to family-friendly department stores or banks. It has taken us a while to get used to it.
Oddly enough, the casinos always seem empty. But I finally figured out why when I went out with some of my colleagues after 10:30 when most pubs were already closed and we had to go to a casino (which are allowed to stay open all night).
These casinos aren't like their American counterparts which have a mix of machines and tables run by live human dealers or attendants. Rather, these are bars with
some machines (slots, blackjack, and automated roulette tables) but virtually no live attendants (i.e., bars with gambling problems). And when the late night revelers come in, the bartenders start pouring beers into the clients who in turn pour LOTS of cash into those machines: $2.5 billion in 2004, a growth of 4.5 percent from the year before! In addition, there is also a phone gambling craze going on...but again you wouldn't know it from seeing all the empty casinos in the day time.
The Czechs we know claim these casinos are "only for foreigners," but you sure could have fooled me, EVERYBODY I saw was Czech...but then again, maybe it always feels good to blame the Germans?
By the way, the gambling situation is unlikely to change any time soon. Just like in the US, the government is addicted to the tax stream and, apparently, their gambling laws are completely wacky (e.g., there is something called a "herna bar" which can have machines but doesn't get regulated by the same laws as the casinos). And speaking of bars....
Drinking
The myth about the Czechs' voracious appetite for alcohol ain't no myth. Czechs drink a whopping 157 liters of beer per capita each year (compared with 81 liters in the US!). The also drink twice as much hard alcohol. Yikes.
On one hand, you can't really blame the Czechs for their beer habits; the beer is SO good; one can easily throw back 2 or 3 beers (.5 liters each) before you remember you are drinking alcohol (sort of like New Year's Eve punch, only it's not pink and that friend of your sister's isn't looking at you all funny from under the mistletoe). And besides, the beer is cheaper than any other beverage on the menu (~$0.40 retail, ~$1 restaurants). Really. I mean, if we could only convince Sophie to switch from apple juice....
The most obvious reason for the high rate of alcohol consumption, in bars at least, is the way beer is served. In most pubs they will just bring you another mug unless you specifically tell them to stop. They
keep a tab running on a strip of paper at your table. Sometimes it's fun to walk around the bar just to see what kinds of tabs the other tables are running. One night I was out with a friend when a pair of guys in their late 50s at the next table started talking to us. And get this: their tab had a whopping 18 marks! ...which might explain why they
thought they were WWII veterans and why they
thought I was their "lovely Scottish boy" (and why I
knew it was time to go!) On a funnier, but maybe more pathetic note: one pub I went to literally supports its inebriated male guests with handy "headrests" above each urinal. Zeooow.
Drinking is also facilitated by a much broader range of drinking establishments. There are casinos, hernas, restaurants, sports bars (that also mean gambling), "hospody" (i.e. pubs with food), full-fledged bars (no food), and wine bars ("vinoteka") that serve wine by the
"deci" (but you have to brush up on your metric system to play that game). By the way, the Moravian wines are delicious and the vinokeka seem much more gender-balanced than the pubs.
Domestic alcohol consumption is at least as brisk as what I have seen in public. Most of the families we have visited have welcomed us with a shot of "something" or a glass of wine (imagine visiting Granny and being offered some tequila!). Being the light-weights that we are, we only have one shot, and usually our hosts are fine with that. However, sometimes, your hosts will want you to try their full range of homemade brandies...and next thing you know you are singing Phil Collins songs. Watch out!
The Czechs also have very different ideas about alcohol retail. You can buy hard liquor anywhere: supermarkets, convenience stores, fruit stands, and even at the little road side "tabaks" where you buy your newspapers and tram tickets (there's always 2-3 guys drinking beer when we go by this tabak on the way to Sophie's school at
7:45 am!)
My favorite way of buying wine is to bring an empty water bottle up to the grocery store where they will refill it with one of the
wines "on tap." Wild, huh? (Speaking of wild, do they still have drive-through liquor stores in Wyoming?)
The scariest thing about the drinking statistics I quoted above is that they are based on
commercial alcohol production not
actual production. Home brewing is very common here, especially for wine and spirits. Our neighbor makes a wonderful apricot brandy from the trees in his yard. In an earlier blog I reported on a Czech family we met during one of our walks that had us over for lunch and served us (literally) mind-numbing quantities of store-bought beer plus homemade wine AND slivovice (plum brandy). Like the Christmas cookies I reported on, there is also a brisk unofficial market in "domastni" wines and brandies...none of which gets reported for official statistics. In other words, alcohol consumption is significantly higher than official statistics.
One last thought about alcohol consumption: Apparently, alcoholism is on the rise among
women. One theory mirrors the "welcome-to-the-workforce" explanations for why American women are getting more stress-related diseases. Another theory is that the rise of western feminist values has opened bars as a socializing option for women. The last theory is the most interesting: under communism one could easily "blame the system" for one's troubles. But with the system dismantled all that blame comes home to roost and gets medicated. Either way, it's all a little scary.
SmokingUntil very recently the Czech Republic was one of the most convenient places to be a smoker in the EU. Cigarettes cost less than $2/pack and smoking was allowed just about everywhere (recently, the government has started to raise tobacco taxes...by 2007 or so, cigarettes will cost $4.00...I'm not a smoker but in the US I think the price is somewhere between $3 and $4,
yes?)
In the US, the campaign against smoking has been so successful that we have turned what ought to be a health concern into a moral issue. I'll admit it: back home it actually "shocks" me when I learn that a colleague or friend smokes. So when we first arrived here it took us a while to shelve that righteous attitude. But that said, we still can't get used to the constant smell of smoke in restaurants, cafes, and bars...and, of course, on our own clothes. However, unlike the situation with gambling and drinking, the government is hungry to change smoking habits because the obvious financial impact smoking has on the state-supported health system. However, I doubt the anti-smoking campaign will ever acquire the ethical valence we have given it in the states...and frankly, that might be for the better. There's a refreshing lack of silly
superciliousness that Americans might appreciate more if we'd also just shaken off four decades of communism.
Sex, sexuality, and the bodyThe deal with the vices of the flesh are more complex than the others. Because the Czech Republic is in Europe we weren't surprised that Czechs share their neighbors' liberal attitudes about nudity and sexuality. Like Germany, people just aren't as concerned about showing a
little more skin. I mean, there is even a nudist area at our municipal lake! The best illustration of how this more liberal attitude affects our daily lives is when we go to our local public pool which provides men and women with separate shower rooms but a
shared coed large locker room. In other words, when you come into the pool area, you get a key for one of the lockers in a big coed space. Some people use the provided changing stalls, but nobody seems to mind when people disrobe outside the stalls. After getting into your suit, you pass through separate showering areas to get to the pool. But, the doors to the shower rooms are made of very revealing semi-opaque glass; nobody is pretending it's entirely private.
Now that I have gotten used to seeing everybody in their undergarments (and less), it just seems like a much healthier attitude than the average American pool scene with all those ironic attempts to separate men and women as they change into their revealing swim wear. That said, I still haven't gotten used to going with my coed ultimate team to tournaments where we end up sharing a locker room AND shower room! (I will spare you further details. And anyway, my parents will read this...shocking!)
So, all that pool and locker room stuff is in the realm of public nudity, not vice at all, and easy to accept after the initial shock, particularly because it applies equally to men and women.
However, as you move along a spectrum from public nudity towards the sex industry, things start to feel less healthy...maybe it overtly objectifies and demeans women...usually immigrants. Some of it seems harmless (like the movie poster I saw with an artistically posed topless women...but even THAT would have gotten a theater shut down in the States!). But some of it seems more borderline, like the advertisement outside a clothes shop showing a topless gender-neutral person getting whipped on the back by some "friends." And then, of course, there are just many more "men's
magazines" on display in places where kids can easily see them. (Apparently, things have toned down considerably since the post-revolution celebrations of freedom of expression when there was porn everywhere).
From there, the spectrum continues into obvious sex-trade territory. As in the US, they have strip bars, except here, as with
the casinos, those establishments aren't separated from the rest of the city (in fact, there's one place around the corner from my work on the same block as the cathedral and bishop's headquarters. The most shocking surprise is that unlike the US (except Nevada?), they also have "nightclubs" that are actually full-service legal brothels. And like the strip clubs, the night clubs are also integrated right into the city scape. (On a positive note: this "legal" status gives employees access to health care). Being a family man, I can't really report on the interiors of these institutions but I can report on something stranger.
After work on Thursday night, I often go out for beers with my coed colleagues to a neighborhood bar we all affectionately call "tits-out" because, indeed, your drinks arrive just slightly ahead of a pair of exposed breasts. Yes, really. What makes it weird is not just the topless waitress (which, I assure you, IS weird). What makes it weird is the fact that the waitresses and my fellow patrons are so completely unfazed by this arrangement. This is not a topless bar in the American sense of the word. That is, no sultry dances. No breast implants. No lingerie. No lap dances. These women just bring out drinks, take orders, and empty ashtrays. Think "Hooters" in the US, but, ironically, much LESS sexualized.
Final thoughts on vice:So once again I am wondering why am I reporting all these smarmy details to YOU (my dear family, colleagues, and friends) instead of showing you pictures of our February skiing trip? I don't know exactly...but I THINK I am telling you all this because I am honestly struggling with the contrast between, on one hand, the Czechs' tendency towards public introversion and
interpersonal conservatism, and on the other hand, their much more liberal attitudes towards vice. However, I'm wary about throwing stones because I'm equally puzzled by the conflict between American puritanism and our very public displays of, and discussions about sexuality...or more poignantly, our tendency towards public "Christian" self-righteousness (e.g., Clinton sex scandal) and the many ways in which we tolerate remarkably unChristian business and political behavior (e.g., invasion of Iraq). The Czechs aren't
about to invade anybody and they just don't care who is sleeping with who. But maybe they should--the Czech divorce rate is one of the highest in Europe (~50%). But then again, 50% is only slightly higher than our highest divorce rates which are, ironically (did you know this?) in the American south, our most religious states.
So these it is. And you thought the only Czech vice was meat garnishes!
So much for the ominous warnings of dreary central European weather. For the last month or so the daily highs have crept up from 7 degrees (Celsius) in March to 24 degrees! (24 C=75 F...much higher than what they are supposed to be: 3 and 7 degrees respectively), and we have had virtually no rain.
Horrible weather for farmers; great weather for tourists (really, it's like living in California but with absolutely no bean sprouts for your salads).
places here, the houses on Mikulov's winding medieval streets can now afford a healthy clean coat of fresh stucco and paint and the town's gorgeous "zamek" (chateau) has been restored. The only tired buildings we saw were the old pilgrimage churches on top of the ancient sacred-pagan limestone hill that overlooks the town. (Really, I don't understand why more people don't come to Southern Movaria to get out their must-see-Europe yah-yahs.)
Nazi occupation: the old Jewish cemetery (the newest grave stone was from 1938). We let ourselves into the cemetery with keys given to us at the town information center. Walking under the early blooms of fruit trees and among the fallen gravestones filled us with conflicting emotions: on one hand, grief for all the Jewish citizens of Mikulov who weren't able to be properly buried here and, on the other, appreciation for the serenity and beauty of a graveyard that modern Mikulov has decided NOT to forget. In fact, one of the most heartening sights were all the little memorial pebbles set on many of the gravestones by recent visitors. (Follow this link to learn more about the Jewish practice of leaving stones on graves. Or this one if you want to fully appreciate the
story of Mikulov's Jews).
that would be "Corn Palace!" But this was not Kansas. It was was a VERY cool "real" castle overlooking a lake. Sophie knighted us with a strange ceremony including hand fulls of thrown grass and then we had a proper battle among the ruins. It was quite yeomanly.
but reflect on the enormous amounts of wealth that was thrown by "leaders" at those image-enhancing building projects. I can't remember who said "All art is violence" but when you see these AMAZING buildings with all that AMAZING low-wage craftsmanship, your inner-Marx starts to stir. (That said, if anybody ever gives you a choice to go back in time, shelve your revolution and pick "landed aristocracy." The interiors of these zameks were all masterpieces and, at least, someone would empty your chamber pot for you.)
sticks (pomlázky) so they can whip the girls AND get rewarded for it with candy and booze (I'm serious!). They also have wonderful egg decorating traditions (yes, the GIRLS do that, while the boys weave their pomlázky). In the days before Easter ("velikonoce" or "big nights"), the women folk scurry around making and buying the eggs which they hang on trees or branches cut from freshly-blooming shrubbery 
(it's VERY pretty and puts all our American plastic kitsch to shame). 
"Freudian Stick?") The women "thank" the men by tying ribbons onto their pomlazkas, and giving them decorated eggs, candy, and/or silovice (brandy). By noon, the men stumble home. It's beautiful, in a gender-segregated, ritualized sexual-violence, day-time-Halloween kind of way. If you are into that sort of thing.
husband--she perpetuated the tradition by rewarding the men with a most delightful little shriek! What fun, heh, heh, heh (Anyway, you get the picture...kind of gross; kind of great.).
